The Other Incident
by BelovedShadow
Summary: Warning: CRACK... Pein wakes up one morning to the sound of Tobi and Deidara arguing.. Lets see how this leads the akatsuki to some unexpected confessions.


**Disclaimer: When I was borne, I couldn't speak Japanese. I still cannot speak Japanese. The original version of Naruto is in Japanese, therefore I am quite sure that I am not the one who created it. A little later in my life, I started watching this delightful show, Although I would love to buy the rights to it, it isn't for sale, and I probably can't afford to buy it when it is. So as of right now, I do not own Naruto or any of the setting. Nor do I speak Japanese.**

**WARNING: Due to Akatsuki language habits, this fanfic contains less than appropriate language. But you knew that, it's rated M. **

**There is some implied SasoGaa and implied ItaSasu… but no lemon.**

**Enjoy!**

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Pein got up from his bed, having heard a loud crashing noise. What could it be now? Then he heard the voices.

"Hey!! Give it back, un!!"

"But Tobi NEEDS it!! Please Deidara-Senpai!! PLEASE let Tobi have it!!"

"No!! It's my ARM, un. My ARM!!"

"But Tobi made a clay castle, and he needs a flag, and Deidara-Senpai's arm is so pretty, Tobi thought it would make the perfect flag!!"

"UN!!!! IT'S MY ARM!!"

"What should Tobi use instead?"

"Use Sasori's arm. He probably won't even notice. You can put it back once you finish playing with the…….CLAY??!! MY CLAY??!!"

**-BOOM!!!-**

Pein knew now what was going on upstairs. Deidara and Tobi had blown up a piece of the house again. Lovely. He went to look at the damage. It wasn't too bad. They had only destroyed their attic bedroom. The house would be fine, but the Deidara looked like he may kill Tobi.

"How much clay did you use, un??!"

"Enough for my castle and a stand for my castle and a mote, and a pretty princess that looked JUST like Deidara-senpai and a handsome prince that looked like Leader-Sama!!! OH! And a garage for them to park their Ferrari's in!!"

At this point everyone in the house was awake. Hidan and Itachi came in wondering what was going on.

"What the fuck?? How the fuck did you fuckers blow up the fucking roof??!"

"Tobi made a pretty castle out of Deidara's pretty clay and then it went BOOM!"

"Well, I guess that explains it then."

"Shut the fuck up Itachi! I don't fucking like you!"

"I don't care for you either, but these fools aren't intelligent enough to fix the roof, and I'm not doing it alone. Actually on second thought, I probably wouldn't find you very useful either."

"What the fuck are you trying to say Bastard? Are you calling me a fucking retard?? And how is your blind ass going to fucking fix anything?"

"Not by standing here conversing with insolent insignificants like yourself."

Pein had had enough.

"Neither of you will be fixing the roof. We will call a repairman. You're both right. Itachi's blind and all Hidans good for is comic relief. Tobi, go find Kakuzu so that we can negotiate how much this is going to cost, and Deidara you go search through this muck and find your other arm."

"Hai, un."

"Hai leader-samma!! Tobi will find Kakuzu because Tobi is a good boy!"

"And what the fuck are we supposed to fucking do?? Should Itachi just go be blind or some shit? Should I just keep fucking talking to fucking AMUSE you? You know what? Fuck this shit, I'm gonna go pray."

"First, I'm curious. How do you expect me to just 'go be blind' what does that entail?"

"Go try and look at some shit."

"Alright."

Hidan went to go pray, whilst Tobi was coming back with Kakuzu.

"Look leader-samma! Kakuzu is here because Tobi brought him here, and Tobi brought him here because Tobi is a good boy!"

"Yes Tobi. You are a good boy."

"Can Tobi have a Scooby Snack??!"

"Wrong show sorry."

"Okay! Tobi will live without a Scooby Snack!"

Kakuzu looked at the roof, devastated, immediately calculating in his mind how expensive it would be to fix it.

"Well, how much is it going to cost us?"

Kakuzu passed out.

"Hmm…. I guess it must be pretty expensive then. Alright; Tobi, I want you carry Kakuzu to Kisame's room and throw him in the fish bowl to wake him up, make sure that Kisame gets him out though. Then, you are to tell Konan to make a quick breakfast, no salad because it will upset Zetsu. Then in exactly one hour I want you to round up everyone and bring them to the dining room. Can you handle all of that?"

"Yes Leader-Samma! I can do it! I will also tell Kakuzu-san to sew Dei-chan's arm back on."

And somehow, he did. In one hours time, everyone was sitting at the dining room table, waiting for Hidan to finish praying so that they could eat.

"-And may this food make us strong enough to kill nine virgins by this time next week."

Now he did an elaborate hand sign, reached under the table stabbed himself in the knee with a butter knife, and yelled 'lets eat' at the top of his lungs. This didn't disturb anyone they were all used to his random acts of masochism. The table was bustling with talk but then everyone silenced when Pein cleared his throat.

"I need to discuss with you all the situation that occurred earlier this morning."

"It's not what you think! Me and Gaara are only friends! NOTHING HAPPENED! I just spilled some tea on him and was trying to get it off the best way possible, which is of course with a tongue…. I AM NOT FUCKING GAARA!!! STOP ACCUSING ME!!"

"What the fucking fuck Sasori?"

"Sasori no one was accusing you of sleeping with Gaara. I was actually talking about the _other _situation this morning."

"It wasn't streaking! I'm a fish I can be naked if I want!"

"That is just foul, un!"

"The thought of you naked is something that makes me glad to be blind."

"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK KISAME!!"

"Again, not what I'm talking about."

"I don't even know what masturbation is. I don't even LIKE sex! And Itachi's my brother! Why would I jerk off to images of him?"

"…Wow Sasuke…. I'm honored."

"That's gross, un."

"Congratulations, Sausage-kun! Tobi knew you would become a man someday! Did you get off?"

"WHAT THE FUUUUCCKKKK??? ….Jashin, help me live through these fucking retards…"

"THAT'S IT!! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ROOOOOFF!! THE ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THIS WEIRD SHIT!! WE NEED TO CALL A REPAIRMAN TO FIX THE ROOF!!"

"Well geeze leader-samma you didn't have to yell."

"Un, that wasn't very nice."

"Why didn't you say that earlier! This has nothing to do with me I can go back to Suna now and discuss this with Gaara."

"No you can't! Listen to me, this is what's going to happen. Itachi, until the roof is fixed you-ITACHI!! STOP MAKING OUT WITH SASUKE!!"

"I apologize leader-samma, he's just so damn sexy."

"And how the fuck would you fucking know that shit in the first place? Your blind ass can't even fucking see him."

"I'm not ALL the way blind-"

"-Un! What happened to Tobi?"

Everyone who cared started looking around. Kisame snatched Kakuzu's wallet out of his pocket and handed it to Pein. Pein walked away with the money and made the phone call to the repairman's office. And Itachi and Sasuke continued making out.

By the end of the day, the roof was fixed. By the end of the week, well, that's a different story.

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**Soooo...... Didya like it?? plzz review if you did, or if you didn't... i just want sum feedback :D **


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